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Writer's pictureDoug Wilder

Temper, Temper! A CEO’s Struggle


So there I was, coaching a brilliant client, the CEO of a division in charge of $120 million in global business. The phone rang, and he apologetically said he must take this from one of his employees in Columbia. After listening for a minute, the CEO began to angrily swear in Spanish with words I could not translate, but the tone was quite clear.


“What is happening there?” I asked the CEO as he slammed down the phone. He said he was frustrated and mad because his employee was not doing what he should be doing. After a short discussion, the CEO told me he would prefer to keep his cool and not be stressed regardless of the frustrations.


Of course, I pulled out my box of De-Stress Tools. We particularly focused on the Pause, the Choice, the Stress Formula, and the Changing Should to Could. He already used the Laugh tool very effectively.


The CEO soon found he was able to control his anger and other emotions. I recall witnessing several challenging calls where he was clearly in control and choosing Happy & Delighted. Success, right?


Several months later, I came into the office to coach several of the employees. The Receptionist took me aside and asked if I had heard what had happened. I had not, so I was all ears. She told me that yesterday, when several employees from some Latin American countries were in the conference room, she had heard such a commotion she poked her head in, and she heard the CEO just angrily blessing out an employee. She asked if everything was all right, and the CEO replied to her, “Six months of Doug Wilder down the drain.” Fortunately, he had not lost his tool to Laugh.


Of course, a setback is normal because stress is a habit, and he was able to return to his newfound good habits.


You, too, can reform the habit of stress. If you are finding it difficult to use the De-Stress Tools and change your stress habit, reach out.


Cheers!

Doug

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1 Comment


drdrewedwards
Jul 09, 2021

Thanks Doug for you timely and insightful contributions. My only add, particularly in regards to male CEO's in particular, is that anger is expressed, but often fear, or hurt are the actual feelings. Yet, your tool of laughter, is key to transition...that is, calming the midbrain ( the amygdala in particular) and engaging the prefrontal cortex, in the left ventral striatum whereby reason and rational thinking occurs. Hey, we all are capable of losing in and dumping anger on our people--that doesn't make it any less egregious for some who take these things very personally. Well done my friend. --Dr Drew Edwards

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